Use Once and Destroy
by santogold
Summary: AU. They were more than that. More than sex, more than fun, more than any other feeling they may not understand. Too bad she hadn’t been careful enough. Sometimes, the one who trusts easily is the one who gets burnt in the end. Vanessa, Chuck, Blair.
1. Use once and destroy

_AN: this is a mature-themed story, filled with drama/humor/romance that focuses on Vanessa, Chuck, and Blair. _

_Takes place after "Remains of the J (220)."_

* * *

**i.**

_Use once and destroy._

"I care about three things: money, the pleasures money brings, and you."

**i.**

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-x-

He laid back, not bothering to hide the expressive rectitude in his eyes while he stood transfixed on her behind, unknowingly to her. Fixing herself up, Vanessa had made it a definite point not to bother with looking at him for fear of him trying to initiate a third fling. Her heart dropped down to her stomach as she replayed the image of what had just occurred in her mind like a vivid movie. It was simply supposed to be a little game, something to rile the other two up, but what had happened? She had let her feelings of loneliness and betrayal cloud her judgment. So much so, that she had ended up in a tumbling mess of drunk kissing and sex, waking up—to her horror—in Chuck Bass' bed. Only to get half-dressed before she ended up in his bed again in a messy entangled naked dance that, still, felt so _damn good_.

Still, Vanessa felt quite disgusted at herself for betraying her own body like that.

She chastised herself as she tied her hair into a ponytail that didn't make her look like she had just gotten fucked. She should've known better, really, she just should've. From the first time when she had decided to trust him with the responsibility of saving her bar all the way down to this mess. It had been true what his father said, he had been good at letting others down and it most definitely had been true about what the others said; with Chuck Bass, there would always be a ulterior motive. At least he had finally gotten what he had wanted, what he hadn't gotten when he had made that bet with Blair to get physical. She shook her head, smiling at how ridiculous this situation was and wondering once more just how did she get herself into it.

Vanessa Abrams was nothing more than a roach in the world full of Chuck Bass' and Blair Waldorf's. The girl who, while she had not been privileged, had thanked the god's whenever she had been given a opportunity, something the spoiled ungrateful kids would never do, and still they had been the only ones to reap the benefits. Her lips thinned into a straight line, which had been somewhat hard to do. Sometimes, she found herself really feeling animosity for the teenage resident's of the Upper East Side, but then she reminded herself that she couldn't generalize the stereotypes, no matter if they hadn't known how lucky they had been to be born into riches.

Turning to face finally face Chuck, she let a small sigh escape her lips as if it could make everything better. It was funny how whilst in the act lust tended to take over all thought, while when it was all said and done it hit straight home.

"I'm leaving."

"How do you plan on doing that when there's people outside?" Chuck languidly replied, curious. His arms were placed behind his head comfortably as he looked at her with that mocking smirk that had become his trademark.

The strong-willed pride in her, was about to argue, the tip of her tongue willful; strongly opposing just for the sake of proving him wrong, to shut him the hell up. But the truth was, he was right. She could hear the early morning chatter of the van der Woodsen's and Humphrey's, oblivious to what had occurred between the two of them as they gobbled up their delicious breakfast and spoke of light-hearted topics. The food smelled delightful and caused her stomach to rumble loudly, startling herself and causing Chuck to look at her with a raised brow. "Hungry, Abrams?" He questioned in that deep voice of his, smooth as silk.

Vanessa stood still, ignoring the ache in her feet from being in her pumps, but she held her ground. She refused to get comfortable again for the sake of not knowing just what would happen. "I'm fine." Her tone was clipped, final as she watched him on his large lavish bed. The room itself was enormous, and for a moment she almost felt swallowed up in the excess space. But it was another luxury she could get used to.

In fact everything about this room was designed for luxury.

First there was the bed. It was a four poster canopy with a mattress so thick and plush that it required the use of a step stool to climb into it. The coverlet was a design of blue and silver flowers and the material was the finest silk, she could tell as she ran her fingertips over the embroidery the night before. The pillows were filled with down, soft and heavenly.

And from there the room continued in the same fashion. There was a vanity, complete with cushioned seat, double mirrors etched with beautifully carved detail. On the far side of the room stood a desk, the roll top was down and she wondered what was stored in its compartment momentarily. To the right of the desk was another set of doors, only these were glass paneled and led out to a balcony that over looked the bustling city of Manhattan.

Such splendor was almost too grand for Vanessa's taste. It only served to make her feel less like a lady and more like the unwanted nobody that she truly was. Suddenly she felt more insecure than she ever had in her entire life.

"Suit yourself."

There was a chaise by the window, and he made a gesture to sit there with a move of his head nodding in the direction.

"Sit by the window? What this is?"

"I thought you could use a little rest."

"Chuck?"

He narrowed his eyes; his voice was clipped, lacking seduction, "It's not in my nature to beg, Abrams. Are you willing to challenge me? I'm too bored to attempt a fight." She noticed the stern line on his lips, then leaned her head to one side, as if to actually scorn this decision.

She had wanted to perhaps say something witty, something that would bother him. However, something told her, in the eyes, perhaps, there in Chuck's unmoving dark stare, to sit quietly and with a defeated sigh, she did so. For a while, they sat quietly; Vanessa playing with her hands, fidgeting and trying her hardest to keep cool at the awkward situation. Chuck, not even remotely bothered and incredibly bored, until a naughty idea found it's way into his devious mind. Stretching lazily, he stood out of the bed, walking languidly in her direction and before she could object, he was beside her naked and smirking devilishly.

They sat together, a little apart, as much as the chaise allowed them room; Chuck's too long legs nearly touching her naturally tanned ones despite her efforts of keeping away. He leaned over closer to her unashamed, removing a stray curl that managed to come loose from it's confines and graze along the skin of her collarbone. He snickered slightly, noticing his handy work left on her long, elegant neck and Vanessa lifted a brow in question of his sudden amusement. "What is so funny?" She was trying her hardest to seem as if she really had been uninterested, but he knew better.

"You might want to wear something a little more… unrevealing." He intoned indelicately, his arm braced over the side of the chaise, fingers nearly touching where her shoulders were pressing against the smooth, velvet texture.

"Concern over my choice of fashion, Chuck?" She sent him an arched brow, her hand still fidgeting in her lap.

"Not at all," he breathed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Just thought that you might've wanted to conceal the large hickey that you somehow managed to acquire on your neck."

"What?" Vanessa's eyes widened, her blood boiling to heightening degrees as she placed her small hand over her neck in horror. "Chuck, what they fu—?"

He held up a hand, silencing her, "You don't want to have the other's coming into the room and finding out you're here on account of you being loud, do you? The fact is, Abrams, unless you want everyone out there to know you spent the night with me, you are stuck in this room with me. So I suggest you quit being so standoffish and start enjoying my company, whether you like it or not." His eyes moved along the immaculate walls, the silence in the beautiful room deafening. "Now, let's talk about something else, shall we? Or we can go back to the bed, go for a third round." He leaned forward, placing a light kiss on her shoulder that, even though she hated to admit it, had given her shivers.

Vanessa pushed away from him, bothered by his comment and the feeling his touch had caused in her. Chuck smiled at this, but nothing more. She knew that he had been right, they were stuck here, in this lavish room, so she might as well put her stubbornness aside and deal with the situation she had found herself in as best as she could. She was a smart girl—at most times—and levelheaded for the most part, she could handle herself against the ever-so-irresistible Chuck Bass for a little longer.

"All right," Vanessa nodded, acknowledging, grasping for a subject, "What is your definition of family?"

He turned to her, his eyes turning to ice; and she knows she was touching too close. It had been meant to cause something deep within him to stir and she smiled, a mischievous one of her own, at the look on his face. He looked shocked, surprised at the words that had came out of her mouth. Nobody had really ever asked such a question and even if they did, he couldn't be quite sure if he would answer.

"You wish to know about my relationship with my father?"

Shrugging, her body leaned heavily against the chaise, felt Chuck's fingers touch; for a moment the tension built.

"Yeah, what do you know about unconditional love?" Vanessa asked.

"Unconditional." He said, quiet, as if tasting it on the tip of his tongue, "Blood relations, are usually unconditional."

"But not for anyone else?"

He shook his head, slight.

"But why?" she asked, generally interested and not aware of his body tensing.

"Why what?" he leaned closer, "you want to know why he had constantly brought me down? Why he had refused to take me seriously about helping you out with the bar and anything else, for that matter? Is that what's going on in your mind?"

"You forget—," she grits, "that I saw what he told you, and I heard what you had told him. I still believed in you, until I found out it was all a ploy between you and Blair."

He snorted inelegantly, disregarding her comment, his fingers drumming a little, deliberately touching the edge of her shoulder before moving back to the conversation at hand.

"Family. Blood. Yes, before my father passed away, family was unconditional."

She detected nothing behind the tenor, falling deep into a decline, smooth as vanilla.

"And after?"

He tilted his head, moved his fingers so that they were touching her black strands that lay against her shoulder; she was uncomfortable by this slight touch and at the same time, she couldn't answer the reason why she breathed in deep, bottomless like her clutching soul.

"After, it's absolute; unrestricted like the way you love your friends." Chuck's eyes stood locked on her own, never faulting.

Her fine, dark brows arched; green eyes mystified, "Is that all?"

"What do you mean, _is that all?_" He told her as he continued looked to stare into her green orbs.

"Your father…"

"He loved my mother unconditionally," he added, as quickly as her fears had risen; they fell to the depths. "and with my birth, I took her away."

She swallowed, closing her eyes, "My father,"

"Really, I could care less but," A dispassionate reply, not entirely without irritation, "continue." He nodded, his eyes glinting; messy wave of hair on top of his scalp and still, he had looked sexy. She stared to the strong nose, lean face; really looked where she could see traces of Bartholomew and Evelyn Bass combined. Vanessa had seen photographs, memorabilia's, some of the kept memories of his mother and father that littered certain places in his room if a person looked hard enough.

"He says, to my mother, one day that his love was conditional. That his love would always be conditional when it came to her; but to my sister and me—it was different. _We were blood_."

They were quiet like that, staring at each other, as if assessing the weight of their words.

Not soon after, a knock sounded at the door, startling the both of them. Chuck slide into action, removing himself from his perch beside Vanessa, standing close to the door before howling, "Who is it?"

"Eric," the young male's voice muffled through the door, friendly and confident. She caught a glimpse of a smile on Chuck's face at the answer. "I was wondering if you were okay? Breakfast has been ready for over fifteen minutes now and you still haven't come around. Are you alright?"

The scene that played out before her had confused Vanessa beyond belief. It was strange to see someone genuinely caring for Chuck Bass who hadn't been bribed to do so.

"I'm fine. Just had a long night." He winked at Vanessa when he said this and she turned her gaze away from his, hating the fact that she was beginning to blush.

"Oh, okay. I get the point." Was the last of the young man's words before departing back to the family breakfast. It seemed he knew exactly what the promiscuous Bass had meant.

Still gloriously naked, Chuck returned back in place near the lone female at the chaise, a long yawn emanating from his lips as he did so. He turned to Vanessa, "They'll be leaving soon, then you can make your escape."

"Hopefully." She reached over to push the escaping curls aside, her hair had gotten a little long, where the black tendrils grazed the skin of her shoulders, "Would you mind putting on some clothes?"

"Would you stop acting like a little child for a second? It's not as if your mouth had never been on my—"

"I swear to god, Chuck, if you finish that sentence I'll _strangle_ you."

"You're incredibly violent at times, do you know that?" He whispered into her ear and she tried to move farther away from him, but to no avail. She had pushed as far as she could go.

"Only when someone pisses me off enough, then yes, I can be." She said in agreement, giving him a glare that spoke volumes. He was sure if looks could kill, he would've definitely been dead in that very instant.

"You're an odd girl." Chuck returned as he moved to his bed, annoyed at her PMSing anti-social fit. He had had enough at this point, tired of her constant bi-polar mood swings.

Vanessa frowned, "What does that mean, Bass?"

"That means, Abrams," he began mockingly, body half hidden underneath his covers. "that you think that you're better than us rich people, but there you are, dating our kind, going to our parties, even fucking us." He smirked when she cringed at the last one. "You know, deep down, you love us and probably want nothing more than to be like us."

"Fuck you," she whispered menacingly, crossing her arms over her chest. She wanted nothing more than to punch him straight in the nose, but held herself back. Why had she done this to herself? Why? She let out an aggravated sigh as she suddenly buried her face in her hands, before saying, "What am I doing here?"

"This conversation is going nowhere fast."

Vanessa looked up at him, knowing that it had been no one's fault but her own. The sudden thought of his earlier words of his father filling her ears. She smiled lightly, shaking her head while he looked on, confused. "You know, I believe you."

"What?"

"I believe that you," she repeated. "actually believe what you said about family."

"That's a first of many." He sent her a smirk, but it disappeared as soon as it was shown. Chuck was once again, the face of a hard-masked angel. _Angel…_ Vanessa wondered why she compared him to a face of an angel; and even angels, she remembered from her readings as a child. They were manifested into demons after the fall.

"Come here." He said suddenly, his voice smooth, silky.

Startled, she paused for a moment, contemplating what she should or shouldn't do. Vanessa looked at him, really looked at him, before she had finally made her decision. She knew that this was wrong, that she shouldn't, but she had already done it twice. A third time wouldn't hurt. After all, she was an adult, she knew what this was and expected nothing more. Hell, who even knew if she would even speak to him again? So, she took her place next to him once more.

In the swathe of the morning light, they merged in heated silence. Her face above his, she was so close—so close that he could hear her panting and as she breathed harshly, her hands moved of their own accord and placed them over his chest. Pushing them aside, he shook out of them; the sound of expensive silk blended with the hushed noise around them; their heated breaths mingled in the aviance of their illicit sexual need.

Knowing what would come next, Vanessa swallowed with anticipation, her eyes slightly closed. She didn't even like Chuck. Not really. Not at all. But then again, mostly everyone in the New York area hadn't.

His hands had slowly gone up to hold her small waist, pushing up the dress. She helped him release the material that barred their skins from touching. The contact of his fingers on her breasts made her gasp, but more so as his lips touched where his hands had gone.

"Vanessa…." Chuck quietly groaned, saying her name for the first time. "You've been a very bad girl."

"No…" She gasped again; her head was thrown back as he pulled her lower body close to his—his hand squeezed her waist, the masculine lean fingers glided to the firm round ass he was begging to become so familiar with.

"No?" He growled softly, and in his predatory way—crashed his lips to hers; their hot tongues played with unsuppressed need, and she was seductively moving her partially nude body against his.

Vanessa had moved gracefully and wantonly in the morning light that sneaked through the crevices of his room, emitting soft cries of want and need; as if she couldn't get enough of his ministrations. He was a master manipulator in every way, but this time as Chuck pushed her down to him, her heat encasing him—_he was owned_._  
_


	2. While kissing the lipless

_A/N: This was originally a one-shot, so as an experimental story and for my curiosity, it's continued. Not a normal romance, a love triangle at that, one that will be filled with quite a dramatic ride, but then, that is Gossip Girl for you. Thank you all for the reviews._

_Nothing explicit, but it has mature themes. Please excuse any small errors._

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**V-2**

**While kissing the lipless.**

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-x-

They had come down from their clandestine little affair. Both parties acquiescing to their personal desires, however, Vanessa wasn't about to let her guard down whenever it came to Chuck. He had somehow done it again, intrigued her enough to slip underneath the covers with him once more, to make her forget that what they had been doing was anything but right. It was a long day, long afternoon, long night. Hours upon hours spent in the bedroom, being touched in places she hadn't even known could drive her wild. Fully giving into her feelings of loneliness, the rumble and tumble went on till nightfall, both extremely exhausted.

He had kissed her before finishing up their love-making. _If one would call a rough and dysfunctional relationship_—_both playing cat and mouse with each other_—_love_. Sometimes, Chuck would plant a kiss on her lips with a hidden tenderness she was surprised at. It startled her, but nevertheless, it was probably due to the fact that he liked to use any manipulative means to get her guard down, even in bed.

She could never know what he felt, only know that he enjoyed it. She couldn't lie, as disgusted as she felt with herself at the moment, she had enjoyed it immensely as well.

In the darkness, Chuck moved around to find a light—turning on the panoramic three dimensional wide screen TV that stood perched on his wall. Vanessa looked up from the floor and realized somehow, they had ended up on the carpeted floor of his elegant room.

Chuck shrugged into his pants, still shirtless, revealing his semi-toned body. She tried to avert her eyes, but she couldn't help but stare at his physique. Clearing his throat, Chuck watched as she brought herself out of her blatant staring, removing her fully naked self up from the floor in what seemed like shame.

Looking up, she saw how he was able to see everything—the swell of her breasts, the flat toned stomach, the long caramel legs, silk smoothness of her skin. For once, she hadn't freaked out, moving to find articles of her clothing thrown carelessly throughout the room with slow, methodical steps. Shimming into her purple dress for the fourth time, she was glad to say that at least this time she would keep it on, before turning to his vanity and staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her face seemed to look exhausted, though, to her dismay, with a faint healthy glow. The curly strands on her head wild and untamed, as if she had just come from the jungle. Make-up from the night before was smudged beneath her eyes, and she mentally noted that she had indeed looked like a hooker at the moment before turning around to see him before her once more.

In the dim light of the room, Chuck's eyes were predatory, as if he would take her again, and she breathed heavily just from thinking about what they had gone through. Her traitorous body had acted as if had belonged to him—it had acted as if she had been his for those passionate moments. She knew better than that, however. Vanessa was not foolish enough to fall for a guy like Chuck Bass. In fact, she abhorred everything he stood for. Planning elaborate schemes to get his way; treating people that were less unfortunate them him as if they were nothing but rodents; using people to achieve his own goals and means, whether the price be their body or soul. Though, she had to wonder ever since seeing him stand up to his father to help with her bar, was there really a heart etched somewhere within Chuck Bass' solid wall? And if so, how did one actually find themselves a part of that?

Maybe that was why she had stood around a little longer, despite what he was.

Opening his phone, he starred incredulously at a picture of Nate and Blair sharing a kiss near a pond at Central Park. Arched brow raised, Vanessa kept her eyes on him while she put on her high heels, intrigued by what exactly could cause such a distressed look to mar his handsome face. "You're going to have to postpone that vacation of yours. I promise it'll be worth your while."

He said silkily, his eyes scanned her, watching her expression. Then as quickly as he addressed the issue with that order, he returned to the picture on the phone, before closing it shut.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She asked, challenging him. He had some nerve demanding something out of her as if he was her owner.

He sighted lowly. "Hmmm. I see." After a moment, he said. "Alright, I suppose while you're taking the day off, you can get yourself cleaned up and recover from the day's... activities." He handed her his phone, and her brows furrowed at the sight of the pixel picture, much like him. Looking up at him, Vanessa placed the phone back in his palm, her heels click-clicking as she walked past him angrily to retrieve the remainder of her stuff so that she could just leave and finally end the nightmare. "Are you just going to give up that easily?

Vanessa narrowed her eyes slightly. Chuck always had another ulterior motive, which suited his needs. Even when the plans change, he always made sure he could benefit from it. _One of his charms_, she thought with sarcasm.

"Give up on what, Chuck?" she started, annoyed. "We already tried to act as if we were together, but they could care less. They're still together. It's already over, we _lost_."

The sound of ice clinked in the hushed silence of the room; she looked at him with the same languid look he was giving her earlier. He gestured to the small bar; he had turned on the small row of overhead lights underneath the marble-black lacquered mini-bar which held small glasses and a couple of expensive brands of alcohol. Pouring some scotch into a class, he took a deep gulp of it, before asking, "Would you like some?"

Vanessa thought about it for a moment. "I guess a glass wouldn't hurt."

"Help yourself. This small little detour would serve to benefit you as well."

Chuck's business-like tone somewhat rankled Vanessa, but who was she to criticize since she felt absolutely nothing for him; gratitude she could understand, but nothing more.

Walking to the bar with languid moves, she poured herself a glass of some expensive cognac, added a chunk of ice in and stirred the contents. "So, what are you planning to do this time?" She asked, her voice sounding as if she were uninterested.

"You'll be happy with it. We'll act as a couple, of course. This time more authentic, to the point of which it'll seem as if we're also best friends."

"So, you want to make it seem as if we suddenly fell head over heels for each other? That sounds smart." Her voice was laced with sarcasm at the last bit.

"I'm much better at this than you, Abrams. So please, don't try to insult me," he replied, smiling that cocky smile of his. "Of course, I suppose you didn't hear me when I said we'll make it more authentic. In case you didn't understand, the definition of the word means genuine or real. We'll ease into our 'relationship', take it slow, but still make it known all the same that we're an item."

Vanessa half closed her eyes and took a sip. _Figures._ The need to roll her eyes heavenward was great, but her face remained impassive.

"You never fail to get underneath someone's skin, do you?" She said with a bit of acid.

Chuck picked up the empty glass Vanessa had used earlier. "Granted, I think you already know the answer to that question."

She could hardly contain her pessimism of the whole affair.

"So, what you basically want to do is make them jealous all over again." Vanessa nearly rolled her eyes. "Why does it matter so much to you? I thought that you had given up on Blair. That she wasn't the girl you had liked anymore. If you really cared for her, you wouldn't try to mess up her relationship."

"And what about you?" He asked, watching her carefully.

"What _about_ me?" She had retorted, eager to hear what it was he was going to say this time.

He had donned on his dark silk shirt, his attention on pouring another glass of scotch. Leaning back, he sat on the chair, staring at Vanessa with that horrible grin that she had despised. "You're acting again, but the truth is if you had felt that way from the beginning, you wouldn't have even bothered to team up with me. You wouldn't have wasted your time and ended up in _my_ bed."

Vanessa clenched her jaw tight, tired of his crazy accusations. "So, I was hurt, okay that's fine. Probably a bit vindictive too, but still, I'm nothing like you. I cared about Nate _a lot_. I hated the way things ended and I hated that when he got his family back he had forgotten about me, but now it just doesn't seem worth it anymore, Chuck. I'm not the kind of person that willingly hurts people and I'll never be."

Putting on her coat, she hurried over to make her exit when she felt him grab her by the arm with such a possessiveness, it nearly blew her mind away. "Chuck, what th—" He had pushed her body against his roughly, before covering her full lips with his own to silence her.

As soon as her tongue had started dancing with his, he felt his lips turn up in a smile against hers. Her lips were full and moist; and he held her tighter in his arms, while she let out a small moan. Chuck slowly parted his lips from hers, his smile still lingering on his face and spreading even wider with each passing second as he went downward towards her neck once again, hoping that she wouldn't push him away. And she hadn't. Instead, she bit her lip softly, her chest was moving up and down in heavy breaths, and she gasped as his hands gripped her left breast through the fabric of her deep-purple dress.

"I don't want to hurt anybody, Vanessa," He spoke in between the kisses that he placed on her mocha tasting neck, and breast fondling.

Even after he said it again, he never stopped kissing her neck or stroking her pert breasts, which made her lean more forward to oblige. However, despite that fact, there was still apart of her that was telling her not to do it. Maybe it was her stubbornness, or maybe it was the fact that she knew what this would lead to but the feel of his hands touching her and his lips kissing hers felt so good—

It was like they played the Cootie Game with each other sometimes. _Don't touch or you will become infected. Cross your fingers and the other can't touch you, can't affect you. _Even so, Vanessa had never been the type to play catch with someone for long, and Chuck had always been the type who would do anything to get what he wanted. The two revolved round each other—crossing their fingers and running away from the person in front of them, hoping one didn't catch up to the other and start something they knew could quickly end the game of safe-distance—begin something that could quickly consume them both. But, like the first time, there had been times when they relented, when they ignored the need not to.

Chuck was just about to pull off her jacket when she stopped him suddenly, removing his lips from her neck. Vanessa licked her lips hesitantly as she stood up to say, "I'm sorry, but I can't do something like this."

She turned her back to him once more, her high-heeled feet click-clicking as she hurriedly made her way to the elevator. Just as it arrived and she was about to walk in, he followed in behind her, causing her to look at him incredulously as he stood calmly at her side. "What the hell, Chuck?"

He looked at her, brown eyes sparkling mischievously. "What was that? I don't understand Ebonics."

Vanessa sighed loudly, trying to keep her cool. "That wasn't ebonics, asshole. That was me asking you what the hell are you doing following me? I told you no. Do you know the meaning of the word?"

"Of course I do," Chuck nodded, fixing himself up just a little bit more. He hadn't even looked at her when he said it. "I just don't usually hear it."

"I'm so tired of you spoiled brats thinking that the world is yours." She exclaimed, wondering what was taking the elevator so long to get down to the lobby so that she could just rid herself of his presence already. Holding her purse with a massive grip and tapping her heels in an effort to keep calm, Vanessa kept her lips pursed in a frown. She was aware of the fact that she looked like a sloppy mess; it didn't help that she could still smell the sex on her body, and if felt thick, as if it became another layer to her skin.

"You know, usually girls who act the way you are this moment," Chuck began, almost laughing at her absurd behavior. "hold a crush for the person they pretend to harbor ill-will towards." In the background, he heard Vanessa taking a very deep breath and this time, he let out a little chuckle at the action. "Especially after they've slept with them."

"Wrong _again_. I have never had a crush on you, Chuck. Ever." She replied, turning to look him straight in the eyes. "I've never even liked you as a person."

The elevator stopped a moment later, the doors opening and he watched as she walked out, her footsteps incredibly hurried. But one could only go so fast with a pair of thin-high heeled shoes.

Chuck easily caught up to her, walking by her side just because he knew that it would annoy her. It was dark out, the city of Manhattan bustling with life and bright lights. Cars honked, people chattered away, police sirens formed in the background—New York City, there was no other place like it.

"You know what they say, Abrams," he had went on, continuing their conversation. "never say never. You wouldn't want those words of yours to come back and bite you in your supple bottom."

Vanessa rolled her eyes, suddenly stopping short. "Only you would say something like that, Chuck. You should know now, your slick words don't work on me and since you seem to be keen on throwing in front of my face that we slept together, I want to make one thing clear: you more than anybody know that you don't need to like someone to fuck them. Haven't you done almost half in the tri-state area?"

"Someone sounds bitter."

"Jesus, you just don't get it do you?" She shook her head, worn out and annoyed beyond believe. "Just, please, leave me alone Chuck. That's all I'm asking. I'm not your type of girl... and I'm definitely not going to be apart of your schemes. You want Blair back, then go ahead and tell her. Just... leave me out of it."

Vanessa walked away, leaving him standing there, into the one place she was sure he wouldn't follow her—the train station. She didn't need to look behind her to know that he had stopped at the front of the stairs. Getting aboard, she sat down in silence before picking taking her black ipod out of her purse and plugging it into her ears. As soon as the sounds of 'Zero' by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs boomed in her ears, she let out a deep sigh and leaned forward to bury her face in her hands.

What the fuck had she been thinking?

Why hadn't she listened to the little angel voice that lingered on her shoulder?

Vanessa couldn't say she felt like crying—to her that was just preposterous. She wasn't that needy, thank god. Still, she couldn't ignore the fact that she had decided to get involved with Chuck Bass more than she would've liked. Or the fact that that picture of Blair and Nate solidified everything that she already knew; her and Nate had been something that just happened. They hadn't been meant to be.

Still, their time together had been wonderful while it lasted.

When it had finally been time to get off of the train, she walked hurriedly to her loft. Unlocking the door to her home, she threw her keys and purse absently on the floor before immediately slipping out of her clothes and rushing into the shower. Never before had she scrubbed her skin as harshly as she did then, ignoring the burning sting of the hot water as she washed herself mechanically. She had been extra hard on the places of which he had given extra attention to, as if she could scrub the memories away. By the time she had gotten out of the bathroom her caramel skin had been pink from the harsh scrubbing and a little raw.

Towel wrapped around her, she moved with light feet to her kitchen and poured herself a glass of red wine that her sister had usually kept around whenever she found the time to come home. Vanessa turned off the lights and sat beside the large window sill of her apartment over-looking the city down below. Droplets of water still fell down her skin, her usually curly hair freshly washed and wet, clinging endlessly to her neck and back. She looked down at the city three-stories below watching as random people moved, kissed, argued or held hands, shaking her left hand slowly and the contents of the liquor in her cup swirled in response.

For how long had she stood in this trance, Vanessa wouldn't be able to recall.

However, the sound of her phone going off had been what had gotten her out of it.

Standing up, she walked to where she had thrown her belongings without a care hours before. Reaching up into her purse and taking out her cell phone, she let out a deep sigh before opening the flap only to reveal a…

….message from Chuck Bass?

It read: _If you change you're mind, you know where to find me. p.s. I'm not keen on making promises and then breaking them for petty reasons, you'll get what we agreed on._

Vanessa stared at the phone incredulously. What she had wanted to know was how had he gotten her number in the first place, but reading a text message like that, how could she think of that. For whatever reason, he was still going to help her with the bar. She wondered why that was? Then she remembered, she had paid him in full with her body, it had been the least he could do. Another voice in her head told her that this hadn't been the case, of course.

Exhausted, she turned off her phone and decided to call it a night. When she jumped into her bed and closed her eyes, all she could see is what they had done and how she had moaned and groaned like some sort of animalistic horn dog. Certainly, he had been quite good in his craft. Vanessa shook her head free of the thoughts, curling herself into a ball with her thoughts racing a mile a minute before she finally fell off into a deep slumber.


End file.
